As I was sitting in the park the other day, I
overheard a mother talking to her toddler about feeding the ducks. The mother explained
how to tear off a piece of bread and toss it into the water. The toddler
listened, but wanted to get out of her stroller and throw the bread. The mother
explained that she needed to stay in the stroller and couldn’t get out. The
toddler listened and threw the piece of bread while sitting in her stroller.
She then exclaimed that she wanted more bread, and so the mother continued to
help her tear a piece off and feed the ducks. The mother talked to her about
the ducks and what they were doing, how they were coming up to the side walk
and swimming across the water to get the food.
I think this mother did a nice job communicating
with her child, especially as she explained specific things, giving the child
more information. It would have been nice to hear the child talk more, maybe to
see what would come up if mother didn’t explain certain things. Would the child
ask questions? Would the child say things that could lead to more
conversations?
I do believe that the child could have felt more
validated if the mother would have praised her for staying in her stroller and
not trying to get out or argue about it. I also feel like the child’s self-esteem
and independence could have been positively influenced if the mother would have
let her out to walk around. (Although I understand why, because the sidewalk is
right beside the water and the child could fall in which is definitely not
safe.) But maybe they could have taken a few steps back and sat on the edge
closest to the grass to feed the ducks. At that point the ducks may have come
onto the sidewalk which would have allowed for more interaction and
conversation from the little girl.
The biggest thing that has stuck with me from the
readings this week is the statement about “stepping back” and really taking
time to listen to the child. “Stepping back became a strategy that helped me
listen with an openness that allowed me to hear unexpected meanings in what
children shared with me” (Stephenson, 2009). I feel that by “stepping back” you
can receive messages that you would not have otherwise heard or noticed because
you were busy multitasking while trying to listen to a child. I am guilty of
this and actually have found myself just agreeing and not even realizing what I
am agreeing to until I truly stop to listen. I think good communication with
children requires attention and listening with an open mind, instead of
assuming that a child is going to say this or that.
References
Stephenson, A. (2009).
Conversations with a 2-year-old. YC: Young Children, 64(2), 90-95. Retrieved from the Walden Library using the Education
Research Complete database. http://ezp.waldenulibrary.org/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=ehh&AN=37131016&site=ehost-live&scope=site
Great observation Caitlin! The child had a healthy relationship with her mother. There was good communication between the little girl and her mom and she was being exposed to positive experiences within her natural environment. Kolbeck (2011) stated that, “Children communicate really, all different ways and use their bodies so much that if you’re sensitive you can really pick up cues about how to communicate” (Laureate Education, Inc., (2011).
ReplyDeleteReferences
Strategies for working with diverse children: Communicating with young children. Baltimore, MD: Author
Dear Caitlin,
ReplyDeleteThe idea of "stepping back" attract me because we, as grown up and teacher, consciously or unconsciously put ourselves over children. Assume a lot of things that children need to do and should to do. Rarely put listening ear to children as we always ask children's listening ear. "stepping back" strategy shows us that we could hear unexpected messages children shared with us, which help us to understand children and support children effectively.
Caitlin,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your observation, thank you for sharing. I agree with you that it would have been interesting to see what questions the child would have come up with if there were some more interaction or like you said they were able to come out of the stroller and get a little more up close to the ducks. Praise by the mom would have been great as well. Stephenson's (2009) idea of stepping out also caught my attention due to the fact that listening is so crucial when conversing with a child. I am also guilty of just agreeing without even listening to what exactly was being said in the first place, and sometimes you regret what you agreed to when you stop and actually listen. Multitasking is something that we all do because it needs to be done, but sometimes there's a time and place for it, not always while interacting with children. Thanks again for sharing!
References
Stephenson, A. (2009). Conversations with a 2-year-old. YC: Young Children, 64(2), 90-95. Retrieved from the Walden Library using the Education Research Complete database. http://ezp.waldenulibrary.org/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspxdirect=true&db=ehh&AN=37131016&site=ehost-live&scope=site
That sounds like a great communication scenario that you were able to witness. Unfortunately, I don't have the opportunity to see much of this communicative style where I live. Merely observing children's communication with each other is important as it can help us assess how to approach a child in dialogue beforehand. This can also help us figure out what a child requires before engaging them in conversation (Derman Sparks & Olsen Edwards, 2010).
ReplyDeleteResources:
Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, D.C.: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).