- A time when you witnessed an adult (or yourself) reprimand or silence a child after he or she pointed out someone they saw as different (e.g., "That lady talks funny," " That man only has one leg!" "Why is that man so pretty!"). Include what the child said and what the adult did or said in response. (Note: If you cannot think of a specific time ask a friend or family member.)
- What messages might have been communicated to this child by the adult's response
- An example of how an anti-bias educator might have responded to support the child's (or classroom's ) understanding
I was recently having dinner at a friend's house when her husband began to explain how their little 4 year old girl called a lady "fat". They were at Chic Fil A and the little girl noticed the lady at a table near them. She began to tell her dad, "look at that lady! she's big! she's fat! why is she fat daddy?" The dad, feeling embarrassed began to motion a cut it sign, where you take your hand across your neck as if to say "cut it out" or "stop". The little girl didn't understand and continued asking. Finally he said, "honey stop it and be quiet and eat." He explained that by this time the woman was angrily looking at him and he didn't know what else to do.
I think the message communicated was that the word fat is a bad word, or that talking about someone being fat was a bad thing. I can understand the embarrassment, you never want your child to call someone that kind of name, but at the same time, being four years old, she was just explaining what she noticed and being honest.
This has happened to me during a class discussion about a robin character. The little round robin was round, and we had to use other words to describe it. Some kids said chubby, others, said fat, chunky, etc. One little girl became very upset and explained to the class that it's rude to use the word fat, and you should use a nicer word. We discussed how that word could hurt feelings, and that maybe we could say large or big, or even round. As an educator, I think it's difficult sometimes to explain to children that some words hurt feelings even though you're using them to describe something. Children naturally and honestly describe things they notice, and when it happens, I think it's important to acknowledge it and move on, and at times you may have to discuss more deeply.
Interesting post Caitlin. I believe that as adults we have to take into consideration the fact that children are constantly increasing their vocabulary but, they are not picking up definitions until later in Life. Therefore, some children's actions are innocent and require a Little more compassion and understanding.
ReplyDeleteAgreed Jan!
DeleteI believe that adults become more embarrassed than children when impolite words are used. Probably, because we know better than to use "hurt" words. However, in order to teach our children how to use better words we must be able to take the time to explain the connotations to them. Good post!
ReplyDeleteAgreed Opal! They need to learn that some words do hurt. We actually do a lesson on that as well in my class.
ReplyDeleteCaitlin you are right. It is never an easy task to help children understand hurting words and differences, but we will not relent in doing that. Helping children understand that our individual differences does not make one less or superior to the other, is our obligation as early childhood professionals. “when early childhood programs foster comfort and respect with regards to differences, they create a foundation for children’s ability to thrive in our culturally complex world” (Derrman-Sparks & Edwards, 2012). Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI love the activity that you did using different words to describe and then talking about the impact that words have. What a great activity to teach empathy!
ReplyDeleteThat was very cool to use different words for the children to describe things. Fat may have become a word that is not acceptable to use in any situation, such as other words used at one time that we would never utter now.
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