- Think about any disagreements, or conflicts, you have recently experienced or are currently experiencing at work with a supervisor or colleague, or someone in your personal life. Share at least two strategies you have learned about that might help you manage or resolve the conflict more productively, and why these strategies might be effective. For example, could you suggest a compromise? Could you look for a broader range of solutions to your disagreement? Could you use some of the principles of nonviolent communication or the 3 R's to better help you resolve this conflict?
One of the first conflicts that comes to mind is the disagreement I had a few nights ago with my husband over spending money. I immediately went into defense mode because I felt like I was being attacked. One thing I could have done better would be to stop and think of a way to solve the problem, rather than verbally attacking back. This did not solve the problem was not productive at all. Later on, I mentioned that we should go back to a budget and stick to it, and he agreed. "By skillfully working through conflicting ideas about how to solve a problem or reach a goals, we identify the best courses of action" (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).
Another conflict came about this week with my 5 other colleagues on my Kindergarten team, but I'm going to describe this as more of an on-going issue because it has been this way for the entire school year. To sum things up, I, being new to the team, avoid conflict and disagreements as much as possible. There have been many times when I separate myself from the team, because I do not want to be involved and see it as "drama". In doing so, I have realized that although separation can be a good thing in certain situations, it can also negatively impact relationships if communication is not made. I have not communicated my feelings of being "overlooked" or "left out" or "thought of last". I feel as though many decisions are made, things are planned or said, and the one teammate and myself are not informed until last minute if at all. I feel like this is because we have "separated" ourselves a bit instead of communicating how we feel. There seems to be a power-struggle between the team leader and the previous team leader, and our other two teammates are mixed up in that as well. We do our best to communicate things and compromise, listening to other's ideas and opinions, however we feel like we're in a lose-lose situation. I feel as though I do my best to use cooperative strategies as much as I can, but both the team leader and previous team leader always overrule or give their opinions against what I/we say. It's getting to the point where I'm not sure what else to do.
Does anyone have any other suggestions as to how I could have responded or how I can help manage conflict on our team and communicate better? I would love for you to share your input.
References:
O'Hair, D., &
Wiemann, M. (2012). Real
communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's
Hello Caitlin,
ReplyDeleteI do not know if this will help your team communicate better but, our teaching team had many issues with our communication from suggestions to technique changes and we implanted a suggestion box that allowed us to type our concerns and suggestions and place them in a box anonymously. During our team meeting, our director and administrative team address all of our concerns and we have round table discussions about strategic changes and techniques.
Caitlin, sorry you’ re having to work in this type of enviroment. I believe things would change if you “communicated your feelings of being "overlooked" or "left out" or "thought of last to the other team mates”. It’s worth a try.
ReplyDeleteJan, thanks for the idea! It sounds like a good one. It would be great to be able to bring about suggestions without much worry as to getting ridiculed. (Yes, they will do that!)
ReplyDeleteSheena, thanks for your kind words! My teammate and I have decided that going into next year we're going to lay things out on the table and express how we feel. We don't want to do it now, for fear of ruining things b/c of summer break.
ReplyDeleteHi Caitlin, I can imagine how you feel. You can try to use assertiveness probably it would help. The essence of Appropriate Assertiveness is being able to state your case without arousing the defenses of the other person. The secret of success lies in saying how it is for you rather than what they should or shouldn't do. "the way I see it...", attached to your assertive statement, helps. A skilled "I" statement goes even further.
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